Post #41 -- When One's Days Are Numbered

It was on April 12 of this year that I heard the following  words from my pulmonologist when I asked him about the expected longevity of my journey with idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis: “My crystal ball isn’t all that clear, Don, but I suspect you don’t have more than several months.” As you can guess, hearing those words was not exactly all that exciting!

I thought it might be helpful for me (and maybe for you too) to process some of the thoughts and feelings that spiral out of these words spoken over five months ago. I dislike making this post all about me, but working through all this is helping me personally. As I write, I feel somewhat as if you and I are sharing together over coffee and Danish pastry. That alone helps me! 😀 

Obviously, none of us know how long we will live. For many people, this is an awkward subject and I will not be offended if you stop reading here. But I don’t think the subject of death and dying needs to be frightening. Don’t get me wrong. The thought of leaving family and friends is an extremely difficult one for me! But to fear the future and to avoid thinking about it is simply not necessary. As the apostle Paul writes, “Where, O death, is your victory?  Where, O death, is your sting” (I Cor. 15:55 NIV)? Paul clearly saw that Jesus’ resurrection from the grave has made it possible for us to anticipate the future with unusual calm and peace. 

A friend recently asked me, after hearing about my possible limited time remaining here on earth, “How does it feel knowing that God could call you home really soon?” I had to ponder that question a bit as I don’t think I’ve ever been asked that before. After some thought, I think my answer was something like, “You know, candidly, I really don’t think this news came with much shock or even surprise.”

Actually, I think God has gradually been preparing me for this event for some time. Through extended times with the Lord and His Word, by meditating deeply on specific Bible passages impressed on my heart by Him, and by keeping a clear “eternal perspective,” God has been working in my heart. I simply do not fear death. In fact, the closer I get to heaven, the more I anticipate entering there.

As we talk about heaven, let me parenthetically add a comment about going there. Scripture offers us the possibility of knowing with certainty that we are going to heaven when we die if we have accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior (I John 5:11-13). BUT, this is much more than just a “ticket” to heaven. It’s also about right now enjoying a personal peace even when life doesn’t make sense, about hope that is not based on people or things, about joy that is not grounded in our circumstances, about contentment when the world around us screams that we just don’t have enough. Jesus changes our perspective, our friendships, our marriages, our parenting, our view of cultural issues, our daily demeanor—the list goes on and on. Personally, I’d be a follower of Jesus even if there was no hope of heaven because of all the benefits of being part of His Kingdom right now. BUT, there IS a heaven! And I’m looking forward to going there, whenever it’s my time to go.

Consistent with Scripture, my wife and I and numerous others continue to pray for a complete restoration of my lungs. We regularly pray as Jesus did just before His crucifixion, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me, yet not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:43). Whether God grants the miracle of restored lungs or not, we are trusting Him for a contentment, restedness, and personal peace through the rest of this journey. 

Here are some of the key verses that God has been impressing on my heart this past year. These verses have caused me to conclude that, while the miracle of restored lungs would be an incredible, monumental miracle, dying a normal death—with the ability to experience contentment, restedness, and peace right up until the very end—would also be an incredible miracle. I fully trust that God has my best interests at heart, and if He chooses not to grant me the miracle of restored lungs in this lifetime, His plan is still perfect. That will not at all change my view of Him nor lessen my trust in Him.

“Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything else on earth.  My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever” (Psalm 73:25-26 NLT).

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Cor 4:16-18  NIV).

“You’re my place of quiet retreat, and your wraparound presence becomes my shield as I wrap myself in your Word” (Psalm 119:114 TPT).

“The Lords says, ‘I will receive those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me, I will answer. I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. I will reward them with long life and give them my salvation’” (Psalm 91:14-16 NLT).

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” ( John 14:27  NIV).

“Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He. I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you” (Isaiah 46:4      NIV).

“For the Lord is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With His love, He will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs”  (Zephaniah 3:17  NLT).

I was with my dad when he passed away, also of pulmonary fibrosis. I remember seeing Dad struggle to take his last breaths and thinking to myself, “Here I am looking at Dad, but in 30 minutes he will be seeing Jesus!” I was filled with an exhilaration that words cannot describe!  There were no regrets or anger. There was only a sense that something beautiful was about to happen. Oh yes, there was grief and pain because I hated to see him leave us! But my desire at that point, which continues today, is that others around me will one day experience the same excitement when my time comes.

God’s Power Transcends Even a Physical Healing 

It appears that God has not yet chosen to perform a miraculous physical healing of my lungs. But I’m discovering that I’m enjoying His healing power now in many other ways—by experiencing a deep peace and contentment on this journey, by seeing my life here on earth as well as my anticipated future life in a totally different way, by learning to tap more fully into the power of the Holy Spirit, and by quietly being assured that a complete restoration of my lungs could be coming soon! Indeed, God’s power transcends any physical healing in this lifetime! And for that I can praise Him with my whole being, regardless of how much time I have remaining on earth.

I refer here to a song I had mentioned in an earlier post. It’s the song entitled “Great Are You Lord” by the group, All Sons and Daughters. This song ministers deeply to me, especially the following words, which I find myself quietly singing over and over again.

It’s Your breath in our lungs

So we pour out our praise, we pour out our praise

It’s Your breath in our lungs

So we pour out praise to You only.

All the earth will shout your praise

Our hearts will cry, these bones will sing

Great are You, Lord

All the earth will shout Your praise

Our hearts will cry, these bones will sing

Great are You, Lord.

One day, my lungs will SHOUT OUT God’s praise with full capacity—without a single trace of IPF and with absolutely no supplemental oxygen required. I get emotional just thinking about that! What a glorious day of rejoicing that will be! 

But in the meantime, here are some key verses I hang onto as I wait for that day and as I see my time clock ticking away. These verses bring great comfort to me.

“Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants” (Psalm 116:15 NIV).

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me” (Psalm 23:4 NKJV).

“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body” (Philippians 1:21-24  NIV).

“Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. And he said, ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord’” (Job 1:20-21  NKJV).

“I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead” (Philippians 3:10-11 NLT).

One cannot help but feel a sense of deep peace while pondering these Scriptures. For the person who is following Jesus, there is absolutely nothing to fear about death, nothing to dread. Rather, there is so much to eagerly look forward to, so much we to anticipate as we ultimately wait to see Jesus face to face! That meeting will be awesome beyond comprehension! Words can’t even begin describe what that will be like!

The Best is Yet to Come

The story is told of a young pastor who was suddenly called to a local nursing home by an elderly lady, a former parishioner. Upon his arrival at the nursing home, the elderly lady informed her pastor that she was about to “go home” and asked him to conduct the service. He indicated he’d be honored to do so and inquired if she had any instructions for the service. “Oh, yes,” she replied, “I’ve thought this through very carefully. Please sit down,” and she handed him a piece of paper. “Here are the songs I want sung and the passage I want you to preach from. I’ve also indicated the people I’d like to speak.” Impressed, he inquired further, “Is there anything else you want us to do?” “Yes there is,” she continued. “I’m going to wear my pretty pink dress, the one with the pretty spring flowers, you know, the one I wore for Easter services. I want you to place my favorite Bible with me in the casket. And I also want you to put a fork in my right hand.” 

Impressed again, but surprised by the last request, the pastor asked as graciously as he could, “But why the fork?” At that point, her eyes lit up and with a happy face she explained, “Oh Pastor, you know how I loved those church suppers! The fellowship and the food were great. But I especially loved the desserts. And what I really loved most were those delicious pies and scrumptious cakes. I just knew that when they said, ‘Keep your fork,’ that the best was yet to come! Pastor, when they see me in my casket with the fork and they ask, ‘What’s with the fork?’, I want you to explain that she knew the best was yet to come, and I want you to make sure they, too, know that the best is yet to come for them.”

What an exciting privilege it is to know with certainty that the best is yet to come! Following Jesus closely is the best way to live because of the joy and satisfaction that come from living in submission to Him. But then to know that it will get even better is utterly mind-boggling!

Really Thriving

Friends, you have been joining me on a journey from surviving to thriving, and I deeply praise God for your partnership in this journey. We’ve explored how a relationship with the Lord enables us to experience the fulfilled life in the midst of some chaotic circumstances. We’ve seen that it is truly possible to THRIVE right here and now, regardless of any chaos or turmoil we may be going through as we live centered in the eye of the storms of life. We never need to settle for just surviving!

But even better than thriving here on earth, we know that the best is yet to come—when we will THRIVE forever in the presence of the Lord! And I anticipate that day may come soon for me. The blessed hope we have of one day REALLY THRIVING will become a blessed reality when God calls us home to heaven to spend all of eternity with Him … our Ultimate Refuge!

Book Update

Friends, my sister Ruth Ann and I are working on publishing an edited compilation of these blog posts in a book which will be titled the same as this blog: “A Journey from Surviving to Thriving—Experiencing the Fulfilled Life in the Midst of Chaos.” A version of this particular post will be the last chapter in the book. Please pray for us as we continue the publication process. 

BUT, I’m not finished writing yet! As long as God gives me breath, I plan to keep on writing posts after completion of the book. Thanks for watching, reading, and praying! 

Stay posted for more!