Post #9 -- Thx!, Your Son, Don

 Several years ago a pastor with whom I was coaching taught me a lesson that today still feeds my soul … and helps me thrive.

In the course of our journey together, we’d frequently encourage one another with recent insights from our devotional times alone with God.  I noticed that he usually closed out his journal entry with a “Thx! Your Son, Joe” (not his real name).  Thinking that was pretty neat, I started doing that myself -- “Thx! Your Son, Don”.

I think I can say this practice has changed my life.  

Knowing that I’m a son of the King of the Universe and being reminded of that fact on a daily basis has been awesome. By remembering that I’m a son of the King, I find that I’m less concerned about the approval of others around me and the worry and frustration that goes with that. After all, I’m affirmed as part of that King’s royal family!  I find too that I’m less less inclined to be enamored by all the trappings of the toys around me (houses, cars, clothes, boats, etc).  These things pass away while my membership in His family will continue forever.  Even my ego, which champions all my rather vain accomplishments I’ve worked hard to achieve, takes a back seat as I see these things for what they really are — “garbage compared to knowing Christ,” as the Apostle Paul described his accomplishments (Philippians 3:8).  My true identity is: I’m a child of the Creator of the entire universe.

But it has not always been this way.  

I’m by nature a hard-charging, type A, ENTJ Myers-Briggs type individual who needs to accomplish things, charge new windmills, launch new initiatives, and envision new ministries.  (Note: I’ve mellowed somewhat in my senior years, for which my wife is eternally grateful!)  I admit that at times I’ve found it rather difficult to remember whose son I really am — or stated another way, exactly whose agenda I’m pursuing.  It has been very, very easy to allow things that matter less to identify me — and not live out of the true identity that God desires for me.

Early in His ministry Jesus faced the same temptations from Satan.  The temptation was first for bread (Matt 4:3-4).  Then it was to jump off the highest point of the temple and be caught up by angels (Matt 4:5-7).  Finally Jesus was tempted to receive the kingdoms of this world and their glory (Matt 4:8-10).  The temptations here, I believe, are: 1) for the material things of this word, 2) for the approval of others, and 3) for the the trappings of power, ego, prestige and authority.

The Achilles heel, for me, has always been the lure of promotion and power in roles of responsibility.  Ask me about my life and I’d probably talk about all my experiences as a USAF commander. or my involvement in important vocational ministry initiatives.  In the contrast, though, I’m learning that there is great power, peace, and satisfaction in truly recognizing that the only role that counts is my role as a son of the King of the Universe.

As I type this post, the words from the graduating senior speakers at my granddaughter’s Baccalaureate we just attended ring in my ears.  These student speakers enthusiastically spoke of having an identity based in Christ which results in ultimate fulfillment. I can only praise God for these young adults.  Personally I can not remember ever thinking like that at their age.

An important event did occur, though, for me late in my Air Force career as I was discerning whether God was leading me out of a 21-year career in the military that eventually led to thinking deeply about my identity.  My supervisor back in my Pentagon days had become my informal “sponsor” who was interested in taking me “anywhere I wanted to go”.  This sponsor eventually advanced to the top rank within my career field and, of course, I looked to him with much awe and respect.  With his help I was pretty sure I could climb pretty high on that potential “ladder of success”.  But in watching him closely, I saw a lifestyle totally defined by the demands of the Air Force and it caused me concern.  In my mind’s eye I could see the possibility of reaching the top of that ladder and discovering it propped against a wrong wall.  I simply did not want to go there.  Back in those days I was not necessarily thinking about identity.  But I did know I needed to avoid a journey ahead that would not bring me ultimate peace and satisfaction.

Years later, now in vocational ministry, while narrowing the focus of our formal ministry somewhat and delegating my leadership roles to younger leaders, I was confronted with the unsettling observation that I was sitting on the “margin” of life as I had previously known it.  The ministry was moving forward without the benefit of my input (rather vain, I know!). I simply don’t like the feeling of being marginalized.  But out of this consternation came one of those grand “defining moments” of my life.  I finally became aware that my true identity was not as a successful Air Force officer or as a fruitful missionary, or even as a devoted husband or dad (as good as all these things are).  I was, in reality, a son of the awesome King of the Universe and a valued member of His family. There’s nothing better than that to help a struggling believer move from simply surviving to really thriving!

We all know that along the journey, life does not necessarily go according to our master plans and one begins to wonder if it’s worth it.  Eventually the corporate executive no longer holds the seat at the table or the ministry leader no longer guides the ministry.  At this point, allowing these laurels to identify us becomes a tragic mistake.  Instead God has called us into His family and we have countless promises to give us hope.

How does living out of my true identity help me thrive?

It’s when I’m living out of my true identity that I find myself at peace with myself, with God, and with others.  It’s then that I know I have nothing to prove to anyone. I seek only the approval of God.  If I fail, He understands.  If I run out of steam, He understands.  If I do less, He understands.  If on an especially bad day when breathing is really difficult and I get grumpy and impatient, He understands.  By knowing that my identity is truly eternal and that all these other things will pass away, I can enjoy with certainty knowing that I will always be a valued member of His family!  I can almost sense God telling me — “Enjoy it, my son — you’re part of a royal family!”  

And my extremely grateful response is: Thx!, Your son, Don  I call this thriving!