Post #25 -- Polishing Cloudy Marbles

  

  I wake up most mornings thanking God for another shiny new marble and look forward to the day ahead!  And most of those days are good. Unfortunately, on occasion the marble is a bit cloudy — and the day simply doesn’t go right.  This post is about making that cloudy marble shine again.

Obviously a quick back story is warranted here.  As shared in an earlier post (Post #3), about eight years into this medical Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis (IPF) journey, I read of a man who studied the actuarial tables and determined by those actuarial standards how many days he had yet to live.  He then purchased a large glass jar and a number of marbles equal to the number of his remaining days and placed that glass jar with the marbles in his basement workroom.  Each morning thereafter he’d go down to his basement workroom and remove a marble from that glass jar, thank God for that day, and ask God to help him use that day for His glory.  

In my case, at the start of this medical journey, the longevity prognosis by WebMD for my IPF disease was three to five years.  It did not take me long to quickly conclude that, in my eighth year of IPF (at the time), by this standard my glass jar had been empty for quite a while!  At that point I started the practice of waking up most mornings thanking God for another “shiny new marble” and asking God to help me use it for His glory.  Now twelve years after my diagnosis, I still generally follow that pattern on most mornings.

BUT as I said, I’ve noticed that from day to day some marbles are less shiny than others — they are downright cloudy.  These are the days when things simply don’t go well.  I become irritable, discouraged, maybe even a bit depressed — as the chaos of life crowds in.  I become downright grumpy and less pleasurable to live with.  What does it take to make that marble shine again?  That’s the question we want to explore here.

I need to quickly acknowledge I’m not the expert clinical psychologist telling you how to  improve your attitude so as to make all marbles shine.  This simply is my story.

Let’s face it, many of us have those days when one’s natural tendency is to noticeably turn into a bit of an unpleasant bear.  The toothbrush wasn’t where it had always been.  The dog pooped and I stepped into it.  I overhear a news report announcing that the Dow Jones is down 700 points.  Then while I’m focusing on finishing this blog post with a deadline hounding me or I’m frantically trying to get an e-mail out that I get interrupted — and the unpleasant bear growls. All this is compounded by the knowledge that the day ahead is far too full of busy activities and on and on.  

Is there hope for days like this?  

My heart tells me there must be hope for days like this — in large part because God talks so much about cheerfulness and a glad and joyful heart.  It’s His plan for us.

“This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24, NLT)

“A cheerful heart brings a smile to your face; a sad heart makes it hard to get through the day.”  (Proverbs 15:13, Msg)

“Bright eyes gladden the heart; Good news puts fat on the bones.”  (Proverbs 15:30, NASV)

“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.  (Proverbs 17:22, ESV)

“He will once again fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.”  (Job 8:21 NLT)

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”  (Romans 15:13, NIV)

Plus other people smarter than me have said —

“The unselfish effort to bring cheer to others will be the beginning of a happier life for ourselves.” — Helen Keller

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” — Mark Twain

“The most certain sign of wisdom is cheerfulness.” — Michel de Montaigne

My inclination is to say — “That’s nice in theory.  But how in the world does one do it?"  Without trying to sound like I’ve mastered all this, here are several practices that help me.

1. Take ownership of my bad attitude.  For me, the first step in turning a grumpy day into a delightful day is to honestly admit to myself that my attitude is not good.  Unfortunately, on some of those days I simply want to enjoy my  grumpiness.  It’s also critical to square with the fact that my attitude is a matter of choice. It’s up to me to decide whether or not I want to leave this marble in a cloudy state or whether I truly want God to help me make it shine again. The choice is up to me.
2. Get my gaze back on Jesus and refocus my eternal perspective.  How I needed to practice this one during the past two weeks!  This post was drafted about a month ago, but I’m now inserting an update on our efforts to navigate a major pothole in our family’s pathway of life.  At the end of my last post, I briefly identified the turmoil in our family due to the unexpected tragic death of a 20 year-old grandson.  This crisis, without doubt, has been the most heart-wrenching crisis our family has ever experienced and, as the patriarch of this family, I feel the need to help us process all this to the glory of God and the well-being of each our 19 other family members.  We’re still in a bit of a shock as we walk around in a fog.  Much processing remains to be done.  There seem to be many more questions than answers — some of which will probably never be answered.  At times like this, it is very easy to ask the question: “Why is this happening?”  Frankly, I’m trying to avoid that question.  Instead I try to ask myself the questions: “What can I learn from this and what would God have me do about it?”  Frankly I don’t have answers yet to these questions.  I shall continue processing. Hopefully as the dust settles a bit I will be able to share more with you. I’ve already admitted to days of living in a fog of shock and unbelief. But life is slowly starting to come back — and the primary practice that is helping me is simply getting my gaze back on Jesus, spending quality time with Him, and refocusing my eternal perspective.  We are promised that as we fix our eyes on Jesus He will give us peace (Isa. 26:3).  We’ve deeply experienced that.  It has also helped to focus on the fact that life here is temporary. Our real destination is our home in heaven. Keeping that perspective has been a great comfort (2 Cor 4:18). We remain anchored in Jesus Christ and the marble is beginning to shine again. Thank you for praying for us!

Moving on now to some other practices that help us polish those cloudy marbles …

3. Carve out time for regularly meeting with the Lord. For me the most certain protection from the “bad attitude” days is to make sure I spend adequate time with the Lord in the morning — not just on days of great crisis.  As I just said, when my eyes are fixed on him, He calms my heart and gives me peace and the ability to “be pleasant.”
4. Start my day with intentional gratitude.  I find it an especially valuable practice to begin my morning devotional time by quickly jotting into my journal one thing I’m grateful for today (something new each day).  It’s amazing how a practice of regular gratitude forms a more pleasant attitude and a productive person. 
5. Seek to bless someone else.  This is a big one. Nothing cheers the spirit like cheering up someone else.  Prov 11:25 loudly proclaims — “A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.”  Grumpiness usually involves a focus on myself. The antidote is to get the focus off myself and onto others.  Accordingly, I find it satisfying and therapeutic to intentionally bless someone throughout my day — though frankly I don’t do this as much as I desire.
6. Surround myself with positive people.  The old adage is that one becomes like his or her closest friends.  Accordingly, I seek to hang out with people who have a contagious positive attitude.  I choose to pray at a distance for the perpetually  negative person.
7. Read a good book.  For me, reading a good book is a certain way to get my mind off myself and my doldrums.  Travel to a new country, climb a new mountain, or invent a new device — all digitally enabled.
8. Review my Scripture memory verses.  This too helps to keep my mind focused on thoughts that really count.  Those verses keep me centered on God and His faithfulness to me.  
9. Go for a quiet walk.  Actually in my case it’s my scooter ride around the neighborhood (when the weather cooperates) that helps to get my mind off myself
10. Listen to good music. Music has a unique way of lifting one’s spirit.  I keep a list of good songs on my iphone instantly available as needed.  The apostle Paul clearly recognized the importance of music in our lives —

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in our hearts to the Lord.” (Colossians 3:16, NKJV)

“… making melody in your heart to the Lord.”  (Ephesians 5:19, NKJV)

CAN I THRIVE WHEN THE MARBLE SHINES?

The obvious answer is: Yes! I am so very grateful for the psalmist’s example of thriving even when life is black — “Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth.  My health may fail and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever.” (Ps 73:25-26)  I believe King David’s marble was shining in crisis and mine can too.

This raises a reverse question: can I thrive when the marble does’t shine?  I don’t think I can.  In that state my attitude becomes sour and my focus goes off the Lord and others and turns inward.  I’ve lost my desire to refresh others and I spiral downward into discouragement and self-pity.  That’s hardly thriving.  God help me keep these marbles sparkling!

Dear Reader, please share what you do to get through those grumpy, grouchy doldrums. Thanks!