Post # 31 -- Staying Positive

I love positive people!  There is something incredibly attractive about people who remain upbeat and positive even in the tough times in life — people who  see the good in everyone, often have a smile on their face, and simply have a positive outlook on life.  I find it amazing how some people can grumble and complain about nearly everything, whereas others, by their very presence, are an encouragement.

But how does one get this loving, positive disposition?  How does one grow into this kind of person? These are the questions we want to explore in this post.

A major lifetime goal of mine is to not die a grumpy old man, but instead to be the kind of person who is indeed upbeat and positive, whose mere presence is an encouragement.  I am not there yet — I’m still in process, but I am committed to asking God to shape me into that person. 

Let’s take a look at what God says about staying positive with a joyful spirit.  Then we’ll look at some practical things we might do to make this a reality and thrive no matter what life throws at us as we truly enjoy a fulfilled life.

GOD LOVES A POSITIVE, JOYFUL SPIRIT

Scripture makes it clear that God affirms a positive and joyful spirit … just to mention a few passages:

“Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!' (Psalm 32:11)

“When I thought, ‘My foot slips’, Your steadfast love, O LORD, helped me up. When the cares of my heart are many, Your consolations cheer my soul.” (Psalm 94:18-19)

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”  (Romans 15:13)

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” (Romans 12:12)

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.” (Phil 4:4)

“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” (Prov 17:22)

God certainly loves a positive and joyful attitude.

Zig Ziglar offers, “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”

But how does one become this person in a busy, chaotic world full of relentless pressures and problems?  

SOME IDEAS

Here are some of the practices I find helpful as I trust God for that positive, upbeat, and joyful spirit.

Decide to be positive.  Psalm 118:24 says, “This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”  I believe the psalmist is simply telling us: make up your mind to be positive and do it!

Spend time daily with the Lord.  Getting time alone with God on a regular basis is paramount for being able to look on the bright side of life — even in the darkest times. 

Start the day with gratitude.  Starting the day with a bit of gratitude goes a long way toward shaping a day of gratefulness and joy. I find it helpful to begin my time with the Lord by identifying at least one thing in my journal for which I am grateful that day and spending a moment thanking God for that thing or attitude.  That usually helps to put me into a spirit of thankfulness.

Keep the perspective clear.  Living with the truth that the battle has already been won and the best is yet to come gives reason for a positive and upbeat spirit!

Memorize key Scriptures.  Memorizing and meditating on verses like Phil 4:8 can help us stay in a mindset of positive thinking throughout the day —“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”  (Philippians 4:8)

Seek to be a blessing to others.  It’s amazing what focusing on the welfare of others does to inspire joy and a positive attitude in one’s heart. Proverbs 11:25 tells us — “The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.”  Isaiah further adds, “If you extend your soul to the hungry and satisfy the afflicted soul. Then your light shall dawn in the darkness, And your darkness shall be as the noonday.” (Isaiah 58:10 NKJV)

Be a friend.  If throughout the day you encounter a friend’s need, be quick to pray with him or her — even over the phone. Send a note. Greet a stranger (or a friend) with a warm and engaging, “Hi, how are you doing?  It’s good to be alive today.”  Be quick to affirm and compliment.  

Hang out with positive people.  It’s been said, “You are the average of the top 5 people you spend the most time with.”  I believe this to be true.  We become like our best friends.  Scripture bears this out:“Whoever keeps company with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools suffers harm.”  (Proverbs 13:20)

COPING WITH REALITY

Frankly, I’ve rewritten this post several times.  In an earlier version I equated staying positive and upbeat with always keeping a smile on one’s face.  But as I pondered this more deeply, I think God led me to see that staying positive and upbeat is more a matter of the heart than it is of the face. Though the smile is a good thing, it’s what is in our hearts that counts, not the smile on our face just as Scripture tells us — “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”  (Proverbs 4:23)

But let’s be honest here. Sometimes the struggles of life can cause one to almost lose heart, and it becomes difficult to keep the smile on one’s face or even to maintain a positive, upbeat spirit.  While I have a strong desire to remain truly positive, some days it is very difficult to keep a positive attitude in my mind and joy in my heart — especially on those days when the pain is great and the wind in my lungs is simply not adequate.  It’s on these days that my spirit and my attitude, can easily spiral downward.  

When on one of those really tough days I’m asked, “Don, how are you doing?”, what should I say?  I’ve often pondered this.  I want to be honest, but I also want to express a positive attitude and joyful disposition.  My responses to this question usually range from “I’m doing pretty good, how are you?” (the superficial answer) to “by the standards of my ‘new normal’, I’m doing quite well,”  (the deeper, but still guarded answer) to “to tell you the truth, right now, life is in the pits,” (my honest answer).  Naturally my response will depend on the person who is asking how I’m doing.  Normally it’s a very small group of people with whom I’d tell the whole story.  I deeply value these people because many times it simply helps to talk about the gut-wrenching reality as it really is.  

Obviously it is very easy to put on the facade of a smiling face to communicate that all is well — when this is far from the truth. That’s not what I’m talking about here.  We need to be honest in our feelings. I’m still sorting through all this.  But I’m beginning to believe that an honest lament to God, and possibly also to a few close friends, can help us feel and express praise in the midst of pain.

King David can be a great model for us.  I confess that at times I get frustrated with all of David’s complaining to the Lord in many of the Psalms.  But I’m beginning to see a pattern here that I believe is helpful.  Instead of hiding in isolation, David can be seen turning to God.  And instead of sugar-coating his feelings, he tells God exactly how he feels.  In the end he usually reaffirms his faith in the Lord and praises Him for all He has done.

Consider Psalm 22 for example.  In verse 1 the Psalmist laments, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish?”  (Psalms 22:1 NIV)  King David is hurting and deeply discouraged, suggesting that God has totally forsaken him.  He continues, “Do not be far from me, for trouble is near and there is no one to help.”  (Psalms 22:11 NIV)  But in the throes of this crisis, David is able to pray, “But you, Lord, do not be far from me. You are my strength; come quickly to help me” (Psalm 22:19)  And his lament is turned into praise, “From you comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly; before those who fear you I will fulfill my vows.”  (Psalms 22:25 NIV)

I doubt that David was smiling through all this.  Instead he was open and honest with the Lord and in the end I think I hear him being positive and upbeat. 

How comforting it is to know that God wants to hear me honestly share my feelings from the depths of my pain and to know that I can ultimately still praise Him!

So can I be positive and upbeat on a day when I simply don’t feel like smiling?  I think I can — even without feeling guilting for honestly complaining to God about my struggles. The challenge for me is to keep my eyes on Jesus (Isa 26:3), maintain a clear perspective of the future (2 Cor 4:16-18), and walk in step with the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:25).

MY PRAYER

“Heavenly Father, I pray as the Psalmist prayed in Psalm 13:13, ‘Turn and answer me, O Lord.  Restore the sparkle to my eyes or I will die.’  Thank you for whatever sparkle you bring to my eyes.  Please help my sparkle to come out of a heart that is wholly yours.  God, I pray that you would bless each of us as we thrive to your glory on our journey together and show the world around us the witness of a positive and joyful spirit.  Thank you Lord.  I pray this in Jesus’ Name.  Amen.”