Post #35 -- The Gift of Grandchildren

It’s the best Job in the World!   You’ve raised your children and sent them out into the world to build their own lives and raise their families.  Now is the time to sit back, relax, and enjoy life and the fruits of that earlier responsibility.  

Grandchildren are described in Scripture as the “crown of the aged” (Proverbs 17:6).  So maybe part of the grandparent job description indeed is to enjoy, and even “spoil”, those grandchildren.  But it’s also much more than that.

An author has once penned, “What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance.  They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life.  And, most importantly, cookies.”  Yes, cookies are very important too!  Scripture makes it clear that as grandparents, we have an awesome opportunity and responsibility to invest our lives in those grandkids.  

By the way, this is not to suggest that everyone over 50 should have one or more grandchildren in their lives. Some people, for whatever valid reason, do not have grandchildren of their own… and that’s understandable.  I’m simply writing here to process my own feelings as a granddad and to encourage friends who ha

ve a similar responsibility for these little darlings to enjoy them to the fullest as they faithfully wear the mantle of grandparenthood given to them by God.

THE MIRACLE OF GRANDCHILDREN

God seems to have created a special, almost magical bond between grandparents and their grandchildren.  What a blessing these grandchildren can be!

Lois Wyse describes this bond as — “If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I’d have had them first.”

A Welsh proverb claims — “Perfect love sometimes does not come until grandchildren are born.”

Doug Larson says — “Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.”

An unknown author adds — “There are no words to describe the happiness in holding your baby’s baby.”  

James 1:17 tells us — “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly light, who does not change like shifting shadows.”  These grandchildren are indeed gifts from God!

Yes, grandchildren are special people!

THE RESPONSIBILITY OF GRANDPARENTS

But with the gift of these little darlings also comes certain responsibilities.

Scripture records a tragic incident in which parents and grandparents apparently failed in their responsibility to prepare the next generation to follow God.  The book of Joshua records the awesome historical account of Joshua’s campaigns as he led the people of Israel into the Promised Land after they had wandered in the desert for 40 years.  As they entered the Promised Land and settled there, the miracles and signs done by God were awesome.  They crossed the Jordan River on dry ground  (Joshua 3) — that’s pretty eye-catching.  They saw God clearly use them to defeat all kinds of enemies and stood by while God miraculously brought down the walls of Jericho (Joshua 5).  To cap things off, they even saw God cause the sun to stand still so they could finish their battle (Joshua 10).  Certainly they must have been pumped and determined to follow this God!

But look at what happened next. Judges 2:10 says, “After that whole generation had been gathered to their ancestors [after the people of Joshua’s generation died], another generation grew up who knew neither the Lord nor what he had done for Israel.” Incredibly after all God had done for Joshua’s generation, their children and grandchildren knew little of it.  What happened?  Probably no one really knows.  Most likely the parents and grandparents somehow failed to tell their life stories to their children and their grandchildren of God’s faithfulness. Maybe they got busy doing all kinds of good things in their new land or maybe they just assumed their children knew God personally or maybe in their new-found delight they lost sight of what was important.  Simply expressed: they failed to pass the baton of faith, values, and mission on to the next generation.  As grandparents, let us not make the same mistake!

God makes it very clear that the next generations are important to Him and that preparing the children and the grandchildren to truly live life is an important responsibility of the current generation.

“But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear Him, and His righteousness with their children’s children.”  (Psalm 103:17)

“One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts.” (Psalm 145:4)

“Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life.  Make them known to your children and your children’s children.” (Deuteronomy 4:9)

“He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our forefathers to teach their children, so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. They would then put their trust in God and would not forget His deeds but would keep His commands.”  (Psalm 78:5-7)

“Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers.”  (Proverbs 17:6)

WHAT GRANDPARENTS CAN DO FOR THEIR GRANDCHILDREN

There are some phenomenally important responsibilities that rest on our grandparent shoulders.  Below is our suggestion of six key activities and attitudes that we’ve found to be very important for grandparents to share with their grandchildren.  

Pray for them.  Probably the most important thing we can do for our grandchildren, yet so very easy to overlook, is to pray for each of the grandchildren — the more specific the the better.  Pray for each one by name — their dreams,  their best friends, their struggles, their walk with the Lord, their future.  My mind often goes to 1 Samuel 12:23 —, “As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by failing to pray for you.” There’s so much at stake here!

Be a model.  Prayer is vitally important.  But so is modeling a godly living lifestyle in a tumultuous world.  Billy Graham once said, “The greatest legacy one can pass on to one’s grandchildren is not money or other material things accumulated in one’s life, but rather a legacy of character and faith.”

Young people today, especially, seem to be in special need of role models who point them to Jesus.  Help them see your passion for spending time alone with God and His Word.  Help them see compassion and authentic love in action — help them see you loving God and others.  Help them know how to pray by seeing your practice of prayer.  Let them see real faith in action. 

Love them.  As previously quipped — “Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.”  In most part those grandchildren covet the love of their grandparents. Love those grandchildren by being there for them in unconditional love.  This might even allow you to teach things that parents may not have found time for – how to skip a rock across the lake surface, how to build and fly a kite, how to make fudge, and many other priceless lessons.

For the active grandparents who often have a full slate of work and travel, it means stopping to remember how much you depended on grandparents when you were younger – and knowing how critical your presence is.  For others, “being there” means taking on the challenge posed by miles or strained relationships that might be keeping you from your grandchildren.  Creatively seek alternative ways to stay in contact — like video chats, e-mails, texts, phone calls, birthday or special occasion cards, etc..

Tell stories.  One of my regrets is not knowing more about the lives of my grandparents.  I vaguely remember them.  At no time did any of them sit down with me and tell me what  life was like when they grew up, or what their church was like, or how Grandpa met Grandma  Each of us has stories to tell, but are we passing them on to the next generations?  I have enjoyed writing a book, with the help of my wife, that tells our stories to the grandchildren — entitled From a Dad …  to Those Who Follow. I trust that someday these grandchildren (and maybe their children and grandchildren) will read this book and feel like they know Papa and Grammy/Gigi and God’s faithfulness to them.  BTW, here’s that young grandson on the cover of the book now quite grown up!  What a delight!

The stories give you a chance to tell the family story – the people, places, and plot twists that have made your family distinct.  Most importantly, those stories build valuable memories with your grandchildren, giving you the opportunity to influence them with your faith in the Lord.

Be their cheerleader.  We’ve attended so many soccer games I’ve lost track of them.  We are routinely told by parents that when their soccer player knows that Grandma and Grandpa are coming to the game, they radiate.  These grandchildren need the assurance that they are so important that Grandpa and Grandma want to see them play. Go to their sports events, music concerts, dance theater, etc, etc. 

Have fun.  What a great time of life this is!  Enjoy life with them.  Attend those sporting events.  Fight the waves together at the beach, watch the planaria grow a second head, get a suntan together, go for a hike together, teach them how to play pickleball!  and much more.  Remember, as Mary Waldrip has suggested, “Grandchildren are God’s way of compensating us for growing old!and ”

Personally, I pray that I will personally pass on to my children and grandchildren a legacy as did my dad, my hero, to my siblings and me as reflected by the epitaph on his tombstone — “The just man walketh in his integrity; His children are blessed after him.” Proverbs 20:7 (KJV)

HOW GRANDCHILDREN HELP US THRIVE

Yes, I admit my ability to currently engage in some of these activities with my grandchildren has been limited due to my lung condition.  But I can still be a vital influence in their lives though texts, e-mails, FaceTime phone calls  Plus I can still be the model they need and I can spend lots of time praying for them.  It’s just that I can no longer typically “go to” them — they must “come to” me.  In fact, Marilyn and I have just come off a week of fun together with the entire family at our favorite family vacation spot.  It was delightful seeing these nine grandchildren really enjoying one another and their grandparents. What a pleasure it is to simply know they want to “hang out” with their Papa.

And with lots of great memories and the laughter of all these grandchildren around me, I can really thrive!